What He Said! (db On Commandment #7), Doug B. on Adultery Options

[SoulEspresso]

And really, the only question here is why write this? What is your motive and intent?

Have you asked yourself this lately?

The intent of this board is, as far as I can tell, what it's always been: to find out the truth. We withheld judgment until we saw some evidence, and so far only one side has. The evidence, the documentation, the original papers and e-mails say (drum roll ..................) change 3ABN's leadership!

But I do agree with Aletheia in one way. These comments, taken in isolation, don't mean anything. The proof is in the pudding, for me.

[maggiecttr]

well, now, let's back the truck up a bit. or maybe the tape up a bit.
maggie, would you do me a favor and look at that tape one more time and tell me if you heard DB talking about "how long is too long to talk to someone of the opposite sex on the telephone"? i'm quite sure he mentioned this and said anything over 15min. is too long. now, correct me if i'm wrong, which i trust you guys to do, but isn't that one of danny's lines?

I need to put in some time on my exercise bike now, so will put in the tape & see if he said this. I don't think he did, because I was "especially" listening to see if he mentioned being on the phone with the opposite sex, as John Lomacang did during his sermon last year during the first Ten Commandments Weekend. I do recall him talking about how he doesn't have women friends & has a window in his office, etc.

I'll be back as soon as I can,
Maggie

[maggiecttr]

I need to put in some time on my exercise bike now, so will put in the tape & see if he said this. I don't think he did, because I was "especially" listening to see if he mentioned being on the phone with the opposite sex, as John Lomacang did during his sermon last year during the first Ten Commandments Weekend. I do recall him talking about how he doesn't have women friends & has a window in his office, etc.

I'll be back as soon as I can,
Maggie

OK--I'm back. Nope, nothing about being on the phone with someone of the opposite sex UNLESS that was said during the 2.05 minutes that the feed was blacked out & nature photos/music was inserted by 3abn. (That "blackout" occurred immediately before the part I quoted/transcribed.)

Blessings,
maggie

[shinejoy]

you lnow there must be some men that don't have self worth if they can't trust there wifes talking to the opposite sex good grief my husband works in a place where there is woman all over the place and i trust him he even has some friends which don't threaten are relationship abit i have men friends that i talk to which he trust me too. i think Danny doesn't trust himself so he can't trust Linda.

[Rosyroi]

you lnow there must be some men that don't have self worth if they can't trust there wifes talking to the opposite sex good grief my husband works in a place where there is woman all over the place and i trust him he even has some friends which don't threaten are relationship abit i have men friends that i talk to which he trust me too. i think Danny doesn't trust himself so he can't trust Linda.

Shinejoy I agree with your post. The idea is absurb to me about Linda talking 'too much' with another man just because she is concerned and worried about her son. Who knows mabe she was talking with Nathan possibly half or mabe three fourths of the time on the telephone.

My understanding from another post, my memory may be defective, it seems that JL also 'counceled Linda against talking too much on the telephone with the Dr. that it is hurting the ministry.

My opinion is he was getting his orders from Danny for the (electronics degree style) 'counceling' to (NOT with) Linda.

Yes this has been discussed elsewhere.
edited for spelling and content

Rosyroi

This post has been edited by Rosyroi: May 8 2007, 09:00 PM

[princessdi]

In a way I see what he is saying. These days you don't know the motives of anyone. In this way the appearance of evil takes on a little different meaning. I can't say taht I disagree with him on this. I know pastor who basically "fell" by relaxing just he precautions to which DB was referring. I don t' think it is so much that you make sure the situation can please everyone, some folks minds are in the gutter 24/7, there is no way to please them, but as a protection.

[FineArt]

I was hoping Doug would clarify what is meant by "spiritual adultry". this expression blows my mind. Recently, members of a neighboring SDA church were married, they claimed "spiritual adultry" on the part of the groom. If this subject is not addressed...corrected, it will become "the way to go" and take the silence/refrain from taking a stand..... to make it acceptable.

Of course, that would have put Doug between a rock and a hard place but i always thought that is what ministers are suppose to do.....stand for the truth though the heavens fall.


God bless

[SoulEspresso]

... but i always thought that is what ministers are suppose to do.....stand for the truth though the heavens fall.

This church has a terrible habit of shooting people who are just trying to be helpful. It makes it harder to take a stand, but that's no excuse.

Perhaps Doug B could use some encouraging letters, too.

[Seraphim7]

This, from where I stand, is where the rubber meets the road and is well worth repeating:

...i think Danny doesn't trust himself so he can't trust Linda.

Knows he can not be trusted, thus did not/does not trust...

[princessdi]

"Spiritual adultery" is only commited against God. It is what the COI were doing each time they went to worshipping ht eidols of their neighbors. It does not apply to a marriage. Period. Danny just applied it here,a nd it worked, becausel, of course every word that proceedeth out of his mouth is bible. In all the "counseling" sessions talked about with Linda, even with the electronics specialist, they told her to stop talking to the Dr. OR ELSE it would lead to something more, but they never came up with that something more.

I was hoping Doug would clarify what is meant by "spiritual adultry". this expression blows my mind. Recently, members of a neighboring SDA church were married, they claimed "spiritual adultry" on the part of the groom. If this subject is not addressed...corrected, it will become "the way to go" and take the silence/refrain from taking a stand..... to make it acceptable.

Of course, that would have put Doug between a rock and a hard place but i always thought that is what ministers are suppose to do.....stand for the truth though the heavens fall.
God bless

[Skyhook]

OK--I'm back. Nope, nothing about being on the phone with someone of the opposite sex UNLESS that was said during the 2.05 minutes that the feed was blacked out & nature photos/music was inserted by 3abn. (That "blackout" occurred immediately before the part I quoted/transcribed.)

Blessings,
maggie

This has probably been covered before, but in Danny's case, from what I understand, it was his percieved loss of control over Linda that drove him up the wall. She was bieng influenced by someone with an intelligence and wisdom quite a bit beyond Danny's and that was a big threat to him. For someone who appears to be narcisstic and is said by those who have worked with him to be a control freak, it would be unforgivable for the wife to look to anyone else for counsel, especially having to do with his own family.

This post has been edited by Skyhook: May 8 2007, 05:06 PM

[inga]

(Doug, looking kind-of "worked up"):
"I'm going to be straight with you---do you want me to be straight with you? They're married; they know what the Bible says about the obligations; they made a promise in the sight of God. But they don't want to be with the person they are married to, so what they do is, they try to make that person as miserable as possible, and they drive them away. And, sometimes, the way they do that is by using intimacy as a reward and punishment device. They almost want to see of they can drive the person to an affair so they're then justified in divorcing and they can be the one that's innocent and the other one's guilty. IS THIS STRAIGHT ENOUGH FOR YOU?! (emphasis Doug's) I mean -- you know-- I've seen all the games that people play...Paul recognized that-- that's why he said, 'Do not defraud one another; you are one flesh" and --well--I won't get into that yet...I better pace myself.."
Maggie

Maggie, thanks for this.

Since women are infamous (i.e. often accused) of "withholding intimacy" (i.e. sex), Doug would be referring to Linda, if he is referring to one of the Sheltons. In that case, he's part of Danny's big cover-up machine. (So sad for Doug.)

Other remarks about 'women friends' and talking on the phone would substantiate that.

IOW, Doug is solidly behind Danny in the husband vs wife issue.

Now, what's in Doug's past life that makes him identify so strongly with Danny? (After all, he wasn't there, so knows nothing firsth-hand. A minister of the gospel and/or counselor has no business making judgments from hearing only one side of the story.)

Does anyone know how many wives Doug has had, if any, besides his current one?

[from-the-pew]

Does anyone know how many wives Doug has had, if any, besides his current one?

I've only heard mention of one.

[sonshineonme]

I've only heard mention of one.

I believe two wifes. One divorce.

[from-the-pew]

I believe two wifes. One divorce.

Exactly. The question, as I understood it, was how many wives prior to the current one. The previous wife was mother to three of his five children, including Micah, who died in a freak accident a few years back.

This post has been edited by from-the-pew: May 8 2007, 08:44 PM